I know you’ve been missing them, so here are some more Aussisms to get you in the mood:

• Whizzer – genitals or private parts
• Rack off - go away!
• The Don – Sir Donald Bradman, an Australian Test Cricketer of the 1920’s to 1940’s who remained a popular hero thereafter. The Dons on the other hand, refers to the Australian Football League team Essendon.
• King-hit – To hit or punch suddenly and forcefully, usually from behind

Location: Townsville – Orpheus island – Dunk island – Bedarra island – and back to Dunk again

Weather: Sunshine and squally showers, 30ºc

After spending some time on what islanders call ‘The Big Island’, or Australia to the rest of us, it was time to venture back out onto the Islands of the Great Barrier Reef for some self-indulgent relaxing and pampering…oh come on it’s what the job was meant to be about from the day it was advertised!

We’d finished our last trip on the Coral Princess in Townsville and to get to our first stopover meant meeting up with an old friend Hylton from Nautilus Aviation, who’d flown me a few months ago from Cardwell to Magnetic Island. These familiar faces are starting to pop up everywhere and I love it.

Out on the trailer at Townsville airport a silver bird awaiting us, an R44 Helicopter looking resplendent in the sunshine. Bre and I climbed on board, Hylton powered up the machine, radioed the control tower to make our flight plan known and took us away.

I can never tire of the feeling I get from a helicopter hovering, powering forwards and whisking across the tarmac – the stomach loves it!

Orpheus Island

As we descended onto the grassy landing spot at the end of the beach Bridget (one of the co-managers) was there to meet and greet us, we said our goodbyes to our pilot and immediately felt immersed in somewhere very special – the luxurious surroundings of Orpheus Island.

It’s a picture postcard island to say the least; the lush green of the rainforest extends right down to the long white sandy beach before slipping into the sheltered blue waters of the bay. Somewhere hidden from view there’s actually a resort but it’s almost impossible to tell from the air as all of the properties hide behind the beachfront palms, which just adds to the air of being in a tropical rainforest paradise.

After a tiring few days we just flopped out on the bed as soon as we got through the door, our spacious suite did have little surprise though – an outdoor shower nestled in amongst the plants of the rainforest, sweet! I threw myself under the cold water (Bre cannot understand why I do this at all?) and felt invigorated again…there’s things to do here and I don’t want to miss out.

Not a breath of wind greeted me as I walked along the beach but a few splashes in the foreshore did – the fish, rays and even reef sharks come all the way into the beach here and as the waters so clear you can see them all going about their business cruising about trying to find their next meal. Luckily for them fish-food is standard issue here and we grabbed a bag from reception and headed back down to feed them – this is better than hand feeding them at Daydream Island as they’re actually in the ocean!

Our trip to Orpheus Island had come when the annual coral spawning was supposed to be taking place – it’s a phenomenon of nature, which happens once a year a few days after the full moon in November…but only nature knows exactly when, sometimes two days after, sometimes seven.

The James Cook University have a research station on the island a short boat ride away from the resort and as we were bang on the time of year when ‘it all happens’ on the reef so it made sense to head down to see what the marine biologists and scientists could tell us.

Every time I’ve visited one of these island-based research stations I’m greeted by an array if tanks, pools, pipes, gadgets and machines all whirring and ticking away recording their unique data about some aspect of marine life – and an equally technical and sophisticated person running the experiment. It was no different here!

Coral bleaching due to increased global ocean temperatures is a (excuse the pun) ‘hot’ topic here, and our guide Brad, sneaked us into a few rooms to see how the different setups which had been constructed simulated varying conditions in the ocean.

This type of research can give us a much better picture of the future and the huge damage which could be caused globally to sensitive eco-systems such as the Great Barrier Reef…it’s all a little scary and I know there are numerous theories about thermal changes, ocean currents, recurring ice-ages etc etc but it can only be a good thing to try as a planet to reduce CO₂ levels for the benefit of all things living not just above the ocean but below too can’t it?

You’ve got to be really, really lucky to witness a coral polyp actually releasing its egg as it can happen over a number of nights and different types of coral release on different nights – on the day of our visit the biologists were hopeful that the specimens they had in their tanks would be releasing that night but unfortunately we wouldn’t be there to witness it.

We decided to head out to one of the local islands which is renowned for having 340 of the 350 different types of hard and soft coral to see them in their pre-spawning state…they look the same as any other time of year but it made for some great photos as you can see:

Aaron, the other resort manager and Bridget’s other half, drives the launch and took us for a cruise around the island imparting us with the knowledge he’s gained from working and living on Orpheus over the last four years. Both he and Bridget really do have their dream job and have poured love and effort into making the island one of the most intimate and personal places to stay of all romantic retreats I’ve been to so far.

Having Bre with me for this part of the trip is perfect – finally I get to have dinner in a totally romantic situation with her and not a journalist for a change!

‘Dining with the Tides’ offers something very unique – a jetty all to ourselves with a table for two laid out to receive some of the most sumptuous cuisine plucked from the ocean and lovingly prepared by the chef. It was just the two of us with gas flares flickering, the mullet below slurping the water and the full moon slowly rising above the outline of the island behind us – a romantic ideal that has to be hard to beat.

By the time we’d gorged our way through the assorted dishes that made up dinner we could just about lift ourselves from the chairs and back to our rooms. The seafood which Bre had really steered away from in the early part of this trip is starting to become her favourite and it’s not hard to understand why…

Waking with the sun streaming through the bedroom window kicked me into life…and quickly reminded me of quite how much I’d eaten the night before – this would call for some serious sport/action/workout to try and combat the ever-increasing waistline I was suffering from. The tennis court beckoned and in the heat of the morning sunshine Bre and I managed to knock the balls around for nearly two hours before it all became too much and we had to retire to the comfort of our suite. A token gesture to staying fit, but a gesture all the same.

All too quickly the morning of our departure arrived and the familiar ‘thud-thud’ sound of the incoming helicopter filled the air signalling it was time for us make for the heli-pad ready for the return flight. Our stay on Orpheus Island had been perfectly timed; at the end of a few manic days rushing about, and there’s no better way to unwind and forget about the world than to come here to do it.

Rising high above the beach we waved a sorry goodbye to the ever decreasing island, looked at each other and both knew it’d been a very special couple of days…oh well onto the next one!

Dunk Island

After an all-too-short stop at Mission Beach where we’d just about had enough time to get used to the lavishly, unique décor of the Elandra resort it was onto the Quickcat fast ferry across to Dunk Island. We’d been here the week before but not to stay on the island just to board the ‘Coral Princess’ for our cruise and this time were really looking forward to enjoying some of the many activities on offer.

Dunk is one of the Family Group of islands that Captain Cook named after George- Montague Dunk, he described it as a “tolerable high island” and sailed straight past! Prior to that the Aboriginal name was Coonanglebah meaning ‘The Island of Peace and Plenty’ as it had a high population of crayfish, dugong and turtles – which make particularly good eating.

Dunk Island was inhabited by the writer E J Banfield towards the end of the 1890’s where he lived with his wife Bertha and so became the island’s first white settlers…I was about to become just another one albeit temporarily…

Banfield said of the islands “Other islands and islets are in close proximity, a dozen or so within a radius of as many miles, but this, Dunk Island, is the chief of its group, the largest in area, the highest in altitude, the nearest the mainland, the fairest, the best”… E J Banfield – ‘Confessions of a Beachcomber’

As we wound our way through the resort it seemed to go on forever – there’s a deceivingly large number of units and accommodation types on the island all nestled away in the rainforest and it’s only when you have to walk from one end to the other that you realise where everybody stays.

This is a very different type of resort to Orpheus, it caters for families and has loads to do…that’s if you want to or of course you just laze on the beach and soak up the rays of the sun! Our Beachfront Suite opened out onto the wide, sheltered sandy bay with views across to Mound Island and once I’d setup my portable office decided it was time to explore a little further…

The Hamilton Island Triathlon is getting so close now (at the end of November) and my training has been close to nothing over the last few days, however Dunk does have a 9km walking trail around it, so I took the chance to climb Mt Kootaloo at 271 metres above sea level and head off to do a lap of the island…forgetting quite how challenging it is to run when the humidity is high.

I wound my way along the leaf covered path scaring the odd Brush Turkey along the way and once I’d gained some height had a great view back across towards to the mainland and the oncoming rain cloud which was about to engulf me. At the very top of Mt Kootaloo it hit me – perfect timing as I never run with a drink but this came as a welcome relief.

There are still the remains of the old radar station at the top which was used during the second World War as an early warning for enemy aircraft approaching, the track continues around the island through the lush green rainforest and out to Coconut Beach facing east. I set off thinking it’d be a short, simple run and an hour later returned to camp with tired legs – the hills are deceiving!

The Mission Beach Film Festival happened to be screening a few films on the island during our stay there and, after a hearty seafood buffet; we headed down to see the very amusing ‘Big River Man’ – a tale about a Slovenian man who swims the length of the Amazon River. He’s a champion and very amusing too – well worth watching if you get the chance.

Bre and I had been looking forward to the water sports available on the island – there’s wakeboarding, waterskiing, kayaking, dinghies…the works. However to do any of these activities requires the wind to calm down to anything below 20 knots…please just below 20 knots, come on is that really to much to ask? We left the water sports Centre frustrated…

So what was left to do, I’d done my run, we’d had a knock around on the tennis court, swam a few times, we’d had a superb massage in the spa, we’d watched a film…oh well back to the restaurant it is then!

Dunk and Bedarra Islands are both part of the same group of Family Islands and when the weather allows you can see Bedarra off in the distance – it has an air of intrigue about it, from researching it on the web I know it’s pretty damn luxurious and very exclusive and so couldn’t wait to get over there to find out more first hand.

Bedarra Island

As our launch arrived at the jetty we’d just completed the lumpiest sea crossing of the trip so far, the wind has been howling at 20 knots for the last 24 hours and the surface of the ocean was suitably whipped into a white-crested frenzy. Bre especially enjoyed our arrival at the resort…

Ali welcomed us into the reception area and gave us a quick tour of their setup. Luxurious dark wood lines every square metre of the restaurant and the same theme continues throughout the resort; around the pool, the bar, in the rooms and even the jetty. It feels although you’re arriving in a very grand, yet personal setting where it’s all about you.

Children are not allowed here – that’s a massive bonus of course if you’re there to relax as a couple, there’s been a few times on the Best Job adventure when I’m either settling down to work or trying to catch a few minutes shut-eye and the sound of a screaming kid breaks the silence. Not a chance here at all – solitude and peace are the order of the day.

As we make our way up through the rainforest that covers the island we pass the tennis court and beach water sports centre following the little track meandering through the resort’s accommodation. I’d done a little bit of research before and knew that The Pavilion was one of the most luxurious of all the places to stay within Bedarra and once we’d got to the door of our room realised we’d actually be staying there – how damn lucky are we! The hardwood door swung open and before me were the incredible surroundings of the Casuarina room, the pictures really don’t do it justice.

The room is nestled in the rainforest and looks out over the ocean with two separate living areas, one for sleeping and one for relaxing. There’s a huge double bed which has views out of the massive glass walls to the view over the bay, a big double headed shower, a Jacuzzi bath and double sinks to finish it all off. That’s without even moving across the hallway to the other room which houses a relaxing sofa, wide screen TV and day bed (basically a four poster outside).

I have to confess that the weather wasn’t perfect by any means while we stayed at Bedarra which left us a few less things to do than we’d hoped but the plunge pool got a thorough work-out, in fact I spent so long in there that my feet almost became wrinkly old prunes by the end of my stay there. Being able to unwind without internet reception (which of course means no work), a hamper which was supposed to be for our dinghy ride (which was cancelled due to the weather) and the run of somewhere as relaxing as The Pavilion made our stay there the perfect break from reality.

Our evenings were just as good. There’s only a maximum of 16 tables set up for dinner and you can rock up there whenever you feel the need, reclining in a chair so comfortable that it almost swallows you up. The bar experience is something else too – with a vast array of wines and spirits from around the world you can choose whatever you want and prepare it yourself so some exotic cocktails became the order of the day!

As we couldn’t get out on the water during our stay we had to find something else to do to keep ourselves amused and decided to follow up the rumour that on the other side of the island the old Hideaway resort was still just about visible in the heavy growth of the rainforest…we set off to investigate.

An hour later we’d broken through the undergrowth and found the old bricked driveway which led us down to the maintenance buildings which only a few years ago had serviced the resort here, sure enough as we followed the path along the beach front the outlines of the old villas started to appear from the trees. It’s amazing to think that only a few years ago people were staying here enjoying the view just as we’d been doing a few hours earlier but on the other side of the island.

It was a little creepy crawling through the undergrowth to find the buildings, which are in surprisingly good condition, slowly going back to nature. The main restaurant and reception building are huge and the swimming pool even has water in it still along with a few cane toads…but I don’t fancy swimming in it that’s for sure.

After mucking around like naughty kids from The Famous Five we retraced our steps back to the real Bedarra on the other side of the island avoiding the huge spiders webs along the way.

We’d only stayed for a couple of days but during that time had an incredible experience. I actually relaxed and didn’t feel I needed to be doing something every hour of the day for once – Bre really appreciated that I can tell you; the feeling of just kicking back with a good book is hard to beat and takes you away from the pace of everyday life. Highly recommended for any stressed businessmen out there.

As we clambered aboard the launch back to Dunk Island, where we were to fly out of, I wondered if I’d find anywhere else on the Best Job adventure where my heart beat would drop down to that sort of hibernation-level again…we all need to take some time out every so often and this was mine.

End of day location: Dunk Island after jumping between islands

Distance covered: 250kms